It is SO liberating to enjoy activities for the sake of the activity. Now that straight people have seen plenty of examples where gender and sexuality are not the same thing finding out people they didn't expect were gay, many of them are now also risking a life with no penalty of labels by doing things they enjoy just for the sake of the enjoyment and not worrying about the gender label.
I think us gays not only set ourselves free, our example has led the way. I'm glad I'm here to see the beginning of this new world where everyone straight and gay are challenging gender stereotype labels and people with the old world way of looking at things are clearly heading towards the minority. I wonder if lesbians growing up saw more masculine straight females in their safe spaces, like was there a safe place for a girl to express masculinity without penalty other than women's sports? I need to find some lesbian friends. I saw the trend again in my journey through my career in technology and sciences, men who are more cultured and book smart who weren't gay, but just couldn't throw a ball and weren't naturally aggressive or bold or rough. And sure even in church behind people's back there were whispers of "gay?" for those guys, but after getting to know them I know they where not. I met many effeminate straight men in church growing up pastors who enjoyed being caring and loving towards a group of people, youth ministers who enjoyed working with children, choir leaders and singers who enjoyed music, male church members who enjoyed cooking, gardening, care-taking, etc. Ironically one of those safe spaces I witnessed growing up was church, a place where people weren't allowed to be dicks to one another openly. They either hide it or find their safe spaces. Something else I realized after I came out and especially when all this new world 'gender' behavior revolution finally started gaining very public momentum, there are many many many feminine straight men and always have been. For some it's a turn on, some a release, some an exploration, for some art, and some drift back and forth because it's liberating to live with no shame and no penalties from labels that no longer matter. Some of us get more feminine some of us get more masculine. In this awesome post-closeted world once you discover the only real penalty is freedom, gender expression wanders. Freedom to enjoy music, art, science, books, and all the other things the old world stereotypical straight jock isn't allowed to do without risking a label that will destroy his social world. There's a freedom there beyond the obvious sexual freedom.
I didn't realize this and many things until after I came out to others. You've accepted the one label that should have been the worst punishment ever to be and found out it's not the worst thing at all, it's can be the opposite. When you admit you're gay, the penalty is gone! Many of them equate woman with gay because they haven't really been gay and don't really understand the difference because they are not the same. The worst penalty for a close minded old world straight guy is to be called feminine because he wrongly thinks being a woman is the worst. Trombone: Wah waaa.Īll jokes aside, once you get over labels and meaningless gender titles, there's this incredible place where there's now no penalty for enjoying something that is beautiful or pretty or warm hearted or traditionally feminine.
It makes you effeminate." Que huge laugh from the gang. My brother-in-law, who is supporting and loves to joke, asked me one time at the movies with our group of all male friends "Hey, how gay does it make me if I admit I kinda like romantic comedies?" My reply was "It doesn't make you gay.